Since then we've been doing lots of list making, shopping, list crossing offing, party going, Santa seeing and other general holiday comings and goings. Malachi absolutely adores our "Kissmas" tree and it's the first thing he asks for every morning! That, and the beautiful "Jesus Cross" that Daddy made for our front yard!! I am so proud of our little house this year! It's definitely not my dream house, but our sacrifices now will pay off BIG in the near future, I can just feel it!!!
One day while we were shopping, Daddy remembered something that he wanted to start with Malachi as a good memory from HIS childhood!! So, we searched and searched, until we found what he was looking for!
I would like to start a Jesus Tree next year, when Malachi is old enough to kinda understand it, but this will forever be a tradition in our family! Malachi LOVES reading and getting his chocolate every night before bed!
We've spent lots of time decorating both the daycare and my mom's house as well and Daddy has worked very hard to make sure the City of Canyon is as beautiful as everyone expects it to be! (Hey Daddy, you succeeded! I've never been so proud to see a 30 foot (20 foot?) LED Christmas Tree in all my life! Can you spot Malachi?)
Laying Under Lolli's Tree! It spins so it's really cool to watch it from underneath!
In the little bit of quiet, family time that we HAVE had, we've gone out to dinner and spent some quality time, just the three of us!!!
Finally, after church last Sunday, we all went out to eat and I snapped this CUTE picture of Karter, Malachi and Kadi Jo! They sure love each other!!
Lolli watched Malachi during naptime on Sunday afternoon and Daddy and I got some more shopping done! Then, it was time to come home and start ANOTHER new tradition!!!
Malachi was so excited and did REALLY well helping me put this together! (And, if I can brag on myself a little bit, I think I did pretty well not being too OCD about it looking perfect!!! haha)
We shared lots of giggles...
...lots of eating yummy candy...
...lots of icing licking...
and lots of pride in our first Gingerbread house!!
Thomas and I continue to heal and grow with one another in our faith and in our love! The last two years have brought a lot to our plate, but I'm so thankful that we have grown together! If I was to be completely honest, I would tell you all that I have been experiencing some bitterness and frustration with our current situation. I would tell you that I'm sick of seeing pregnant women all around me and that sometimes I even get angry. Not at God, just at the situation. Now, that being said, please don't misunderstand me. I know as soon as those feelings come in that it's just the Devil trying to dissuade me in my belief that God is still on the throne and that He ultimately knows the best for me! I know it's bitterness and as soon as I start feeling it, I try really hard to just put it out of my head. I don't WANT to feel this way! However, I'm also realistic in that this is probably a normal emotion to be going through! So, if you're pregnant and you're reading this, please know this is not targeted at you in ANY way. I am thrilled for those women whom God has chosen to be pregnant in this season of my life. Because, I realize this is just a season and that seasons pass, all too quickly sometimes!! Our doctors' appointments are all finished, and now, we wait. Which stinks...and which we're not so good at! I don't WANT to wait (she says, stomping her feet and crossing her arms!) I want a baby and I want one NOW! Above all, though, I WANT to be used of the Lord in this situation. I have always told God that I want to be used of Him. Of course, I never thought this was how He would do it, but I pray that He will use me to be a testimony to someone, anyone, out there who might be experiencing the same things as I am! I'm sure Paul and Silas didn't exactly plan on being thrown into prison when they surrendered, but when they did so, it was with joyfulness and singing unto the Lord! And, I'm sure that prison guard in Heaven now is thankful that they had the attitude they did!!!
2 comments:
Your little man gets cuter in every pic. As far as how your feeling....I must say completely NORMAL! I went through a very long phase where I felt that way. I finally knew when I was able to look at a pregnant woman again that I had really accepted the path that God had chosen for us. I just wish it hadn't taken me a year to get there. Trust me I still don't understand that path to being a parent but I know that it is the right path because its His path. Prayers to you and the hubby for healing and for the waiting period to pass quickly. In the meantime, thinking of you daily and knowing your next miracle is just around the corner! Love and God Bless!
I LOVE THE PICS! So much fun!
Also have to say that I had those feelings too with my miscarriages. It is so hard. So glad that you are trusting in the Lord with his plan. It's hard to do. Thinking of ya! and if I things get too busy in the next two weeks for me to get onthe computer much... Merry Christmas!!! (PS love all the Christmas lights! loooks great!!!)
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